She appreciates the Journey she took. Turning her pain into power. She knows that her past made her the woman that she is today. She survived the storm that was meant to break her.
Now she has found Peace. She gives all her worries to her God.
She is the Queen she was always meant to be walking Freely & Proudly.
She is one of the Dangerous Ones. Watch her GLOW!
July 2024
July came around….I was filling better about myself.
I had this pull to move away….something was calling me to move to the coast. I can’t explain why or what was pulling me but it was.
One evening I broke down. Crying uncontrollably my body was shaking & I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down. Thinking back, I was so stressed & my anxiety was through the rough because I had kept everything inside for so long & no one was listening to me.
My best friend was calling me…I’m guessing because my then husband still told her we had a rough talk. I couldn’t answer because I was sobbing & crying so much there was no way I would be able to talk to her.
Then my husband calls & I still can not answer. 20 minutes later he shows up at my house. He has a key (For safety reasons). I’m still on my couch & I just can’t stop the tears or the shaking.
He tries talking to me to calm me. Keeps asking what is wrong. I told him through the tears you just don’t want to know. He keeps nagging me. I finally let it all out on him.
I tell him how I hate what he has done to our family, how much this hurts, how much this effects our boys, our families. I lay everything out to him.
He states that he can’t help how he feels.
I then decide then to tell him what I want. I want to leave. NO!! I need to leave our hometown. That I can’t heal here. I can’t be around him knowing he is dating someone. Knowing that he has destroyed our lives. Our marriage. Our boys, Will they make it through this? Will this cause them trauma that will effect them later on?
Next Move…
Telling him I NEEDED to leave our hometown was hard. I still didn’t want to hurt him. BUT I needed to save myself. If not for myself but for my boys. They needed to see a Happy Mom again. A mom that wanted to go to the park with them. Out to eat….
Anything but the shell of who I was walking around getting through the days as best as I could. With a fake smile fight tears on the daily.
So we discussed me moving out of town.
I wanted to move close to the ocean. Again something was calling me there. I needed to get there. To heal?
I’m really not sure. But I was listening to God, following the signs he was showing me. Following the path…..
Ending with a Quote tonight…
“The person who wounds you, destroys you, Gets NO say in how you clean up the BLOOD that they spilled.”
~Unknown