My Journey started December 28, 2023.
Three days after a wounder Christmas with family & friends my then husband of almost 20 years decided he was no longer happy in our marriage. This hit me from NO Where! We were so happy or so I thought, he hid all this so well I had no clue. So when I say this hit hard I really mean that it hit hard. This was no the first time either that he was “Not Happy” in our marriage. I looked at him and I said “You’re really going to put me through this again after you PROMISED me you would never do this to me again!!”. He said “I can’t help how I feel”. I told him I would not survive this again. He choose to be selfish.
He stayed in the house for a few more weeks at my request, I needed to move as I didn’t trust our neighbors without him being there. So I started looking and found a place. The first night that he packed up his truck to move out I had a mental breakdown, the kind where you feel yourself break so far you fall to your knees in pain screaming out in pain because you just can’t hold it in. I was shaking so bad, I couldn’t breath I felt like I was going to pass out right there. I couldn’t stop crying. Ya’ll it was so bad. He then come’s over to try and help me up and get my breathing under control. He also says he will stay for now because he couldn’t stand to leave me in that condition. We went for a walk to help my breathing. He stayed for 2 more weeks, which didn’t help me at all, I really needed him to just go and rip off the band aid. Sleeping in the same bed after that was torture.
Moving on to my move out date and into my new home. He did help me move. Oh did I tell you, I’m maintaining a full time job (While in training for a new position), in school full time working on my Associates Degree in Science, Medical Billing & Coding, maintain a 3.4 GPA & homeschooling our oldest son while all of this is going on. Our youngest was still in public school at the time. Lets say there was a lot going on while I’m trying my hardest to keep it together at work and in front of my kids.
Back to Moving day. We moved my whole house in one day. I was exhausted, over stimulated & my anxiety was through the roof. But it was done! That was one step in my Journey. One step to healing and moving on.
Stay tuned for tomorrow!!!